help meeeeeee

[obstinatrix]

Urgh. Okay, I'm horribly See Spot Run with my writing today. And, you know, yesterday as well. Not funny. I have porn that needs to be written. And, you know, spn_summergen. (A pause while I cry about that. Okay, done.) I am 22K into a J2 AU which I may sit on until after Big Bang season but really want to get written because it's eating my brain; I owe a Sam/Dean/Cas for help_nz - and, damn, it is hard to get those three to fuck. And then there's DCBB which I'm not even thinking about. I did at least get some work done on the PhD this morning, but I'm off work tomorrow, and I reckon that means half a day for PhD stuff and half a day for J2 AU. And then possibly fictictactoe, if I can get on a roll. But apparently I do not have a roll to get on right now. SO.

Give me one of my own stories, and a timestamp sometime in the future after the end of the story, or sometime in the past before the story started, and I'll write you at least a hundred words of what happened then, whether it's five minutes before the story started or ten years in the future.

Masterlist is here.

um. someone please request something? I fail at life today.

Maybe I shouldn't sign up for the samdean_otp minibang thingy if I'm having this much trouble getting shit done. But I'm totally going to. GOOD LIFE CHOICES, I MAKE THEM.

Comments

:DDDD IT'S NOT A THREESOME GO ME [1]

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

One of the awesome things about being Jared - and, come on, there are many awesome things - is his amazing capacity to escape the dread post-party horror known as the hangover. When he wakes up on the living room floor with his head on one of the sofa cushions, there's maybe a flutter of a headache behind his eyes, but his stomach isn't roiling, his throat isn't tight. The rug underneath him smells like beer and sweat and something else that makes Jared think he must have been seriously hella drunk last night if he can't remember how he got here, but he isn't hung over. Jared takes half a second to offer up a prayer of gratitude to the relevant deity before he stretches, popping his back where it's knotted up in the middle, and lumbers to his feet.

The room is definitely empty. Jared pauses for a minute to gather himself, struggling to remember last night, but a terrifyingly large portion of it seems to have erased itself. He remembers Jeff being here with them, but he doesn't remember him leaving. There was an ill-advised game of Twister, but the mat and other accoutrements have all been cleared away. Jared peers down at the beer stains on his rug and frowns. Jensen must have done that, which suggests that Jensen was maaaaaaaybe less drunk than he was.

Jared's not exactly the greatest fan of having temporary amnesia about whatever he may have done the night before. It seems only logical to go and find out if Jensen can shed some light on the matter, and possibly help him Vax the goddamn mess out of the carpet. Undoubtedly at least some of it must have been his fault.

He and Jensen have never really put much stock by privacy - or at least, Jared never ever has, and Jensen, despite his natural persnicketiness on the subject, has somehow never minded when it's only Jared barging into his personal space uninvited, as if Jared falls into a category all his own. Obviously, they give each other a bit more leeway when there's been a hot date in the offing, but Jared's pretty damn sure there were no ladies on the premises last night. Just the two of them, plus Misha and Jeff. So he doesn't hesitate before shoving open Jensen's bedroom door without knocking.

"Jen," he starts - because if Jensen's not awake yet, he deserves to be, because Jared is, and that's the important thing - "Do you know why - oh."

He trails off. The lump under the bedcovers that is Jensen hasn't moved, apparently not roused by Jared's brusque good morning, but something tells Jared that possibly his expectations of Jensen having been less drunk last night are way off. The something being, namely, the fact that Jensen is not the only lump in the bed; and also the part where the other lump appears to have Misha's head.

"Um," says Jared. The Misha lump wriggles a little, nuzzling down against the pillow, but otherwise shows no signs of waking.

Jared takes a moment to be mildly pissed that Misha got to sleep in a bed last night when he doesn't even live here, instead of having to wake up with a crick in his back the size of a woolly mammoth. Then he thinks about his own tendency to pass out cold when overly intoxicated, and decides maybe Misha isn't to blame. Jared wouldn't want to lug himself up the stairs either.

:DDDD IT'S NOT A THREESOME GO ME [2/2]

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

Still, Jared thinks they've both slept long enough. He clears his throat and wiggles the door back and forth a bit on its creaking hinges. "Misha," he tries, when that garners no response.

"Mmmf," Jensen says, low sound of protest, and turns in Misha's arms, rubbing his nose against the stubbly underside of his jaw. Jared can't help smirking a little. Jensen's gonna be so mortified when he wakes up like this. He kind of desperately wants to be there when it happens.

He takes a moment to assess the flats and plains of the bed, eyes narrowed. If he's gonna do this, he wants to do it in such a way as to cause shock, outrage and embarrassment, without actually initiating broken leg trauma or anything else that would necessarily result in hospitalization for one or both of the occupants of the bed. There's a big unoccupied space between Jensen's ass, his knees, and the end of the mattress. Jared thinks he can probably spidermonkey his way onto it from here without incident. After all, he's had plenty of practice. Bed Diving was one of the first games he and Jensen improvised together when they first became roommates, and is a helluva lot easier than the subsequent Bed Hang-gliding and Extreme Bed Bungee versions.

The trick of the thing is not to make a sound during the jumping process, so as not to actually alert the victim to what's about to happen. Accordingly, Jared braces his knees and leaps in silence, biting back a grin as he spreadeagles himself, ready for landing. Upon impact, the bed shakes under him, but it isn't the only thing moving.

"Jared!"

Two hundred-plus pounds of flying Jared to the stomach is about the only thing guaranteed to wake Jensen up in one go, and true to form, he's sure as hell awake now, bolt upright with his hair standing up in a mussy sheaf. Beside him, Misha is looking uncharacteristically befuddled, and Jared can't help but collapse in laughter.

"Your faces," he gets out, when he can breathe again, "Jesus Christ, oh my God - "

"Do you do this often?" Misha puts in, eyebrow raised. He's recovered some of his composure, which won't do; but he's also at least half naked, which kind of makes up for it if only because it's gotta make the whole thing that bit more embarrassing for all concerned.

"Yep," Jared says, at the same time as Jensen says, blushing, "He's not supposed to do it when I'm entertaining."

"You are entertaining," Misha says, smirking at Jensen sidelong. Some of the irritation in Jensen's forehead slips away, and he smirks back a little, face softening.

Jared...wait.

"Wait," says Jared. "You're - " He looks at Misha's naked shoulders, and the way Jensen's hair looks as if it's gotten all kinds of enthusiastic attention recently. He thinks back to last night, and the absolute lack of women; and then, also, the fact that this room kind of smells like -

"Oh, fuck," Jared says, pulling himself back up onto his knees. "Um? This isn't like - I didn't mean to break the rules, man, I didn't - "

"No, no," Jensen mumbles, face endearingly pink to the cheekbones, "I, uh, you didn't - "

They trail off, blinking at each other awkwardly. It's awkward. The back of Jared's neck feels awkward, as do his awkward hands on his awkward thighs, and also his awkward eyes settling awkwardly on the awkwardly hunched naked lines of Jensen's body, his tight awkward mouth and his awkwardly ducked head.

"Uh," says Jared, awkwardly. Jensen is naked under the covers. Naked with his - with his legs all tangled up with Misha's, probably, and, oh, shit. This was why the game rules had been invented in the first place; it isn't Jared's fault that he's gotten confused by this unforeseen eventuality, and that now apparently he's doomed to sit awkwardly staring at Jensen for the rest of time, just so nobody will have to actually explain anything. He's actually pretty sure that it could not get more awkward even if they all sat down and tried very very hard to make it so.

"Hey," Misha says, after the awkward staring has gone on for the longest minute of Jared's life, "Did you want to play, or something? Because my wife wrote the book on that, I'm just saying."

No, okay. Okay, it could. Jared has to hand it to Misha: it could.

Re: :DDDD IT'S NOT A THREESOME GO ME [2/2]

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

:DDD IS THIS THE PART WHERE I DO SEAL CLAPS AND MAKE DOLPHIN NOISES? I THINK IT IS. OH JARED JARED ILU SO. And yes, yes, hand it to Misha, INDEED. XD

Re: :DDDD IT'S NOT A THREESOME GO ME [2/2]

[-mournthewicked.livejournal.com]

HAHA YES. Oh Jared, you sneaky little monkey.

But um, I think you're missing part 3, where Jared looks at his surroundings and decides that his horniness outweighs the awkwardness.

Re: :DDDD IT'S NOT A THREESOME GO ME [2/2]

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:P I decided I should probably not exhaust my porn-fu on this. Maybe I'll come back to it. ;)

Re: :DDDD IT'S NOT A THREESOME GO ME [2/2]

[-mournthewicked.livejournal.com]

Yes, I suppose your porn-fu is needed elsewhere at the moment.

Re: :DDDD IT'S NOT A THREESOME GO ME [2/2]

[toady2moo.livejournal.com]

I was wondering how this one would turn out and love it! Love the idea of Jared bed diving as well!!

Re: :DDDD IT'S NOT A THREESOME GO ME [2/2]

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

Hee, thank you! :D

Re: :DDDD IT'S NOT A THREESOME GO ME [2/2]

[greybhan311.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA - Omg, AWESOME.

And now this is making me want to go finish Vicki's book. It's just on my bookshelf, waiting to be read ~thoroughly.