obstinatrix: (the green shirt)
obstinatrix ([personal profile] obstinatrix) wrote2010-01-01 02:08 pm
Entry tags:

Teeny Ficlet: Something About Hats (G)

Title: Something About Hats
Rating: G (:O!)
Pairing: Not even. Bill and Leonard. And Zachary, sort of.
Notes/Summary: [livejournal.com profile] screamlet asked me to write 'something. with. hats', so that is what this is. Of hats, and Spock's fashion sense. I'm posting this because it entertains me greatly to have the first fic of 2010 be this.



"I don't get it," Bill said, turning the item round and round in his hands. "I mean, what - what is it for, actually?"

Leonard glanced at him sidelong, and raised an eyebrow. "Are you being wilfully stupid, or is this completely genuine ignorance?" He reached over, extricated the knit article from Bill's grip, and shook it out. "It's a gift. From Zachary. For Christmas."

Bill frowned, still attempting to process. "Yes," he said, slowly. "I get that. I got that part. Since it arrived all wrapped in Christmas paper and was signed 'love Zachary' (which, by the way, I'm not sure I like). But - " he laid a hand on Leonard's wrist, and squeezed " - what the hell does it do? As in, what is the point of it?"

For a long moment, Leonard simply stared. Then he picked up the gift slowly, holding Bill's eyes as if to signal that this was a demonstration, and set it on his head. "It's a hat, Billy," he explained, as to a backward child. "To wear. To keep my head warm."

Bill surveyed it. It looked like some sort of unwieldy rainbow-knit condom, as perhaps worn by a giant and then drunkenly removed by a posse of Klingons.

"Well," he said eventually, "It looks fucking ridiculous. Just so you know."

Leonard frowned. "It does not! It's cool. This is what all the kids are wearing these days."

"That's what you said about that pink satin suit, if I remember rightly," Bill pointed out. "And the lilac striped shirt with matching pimp hat, and those white - I mean, seriously, white? - shoes." He leaned back against the arm of the sofa and reached a long arm for the box of pralines he had set down earlier on the floor. "I don't understand why all Spocks apparently have to have fashion sense from hell."

Leonard had now affected something that could only be called a pout. He frowned at the pralines. "I bet Chris Pine gets fat," he put in lamely, after a minute.

"Good on him," Bill said, popping a praline unconcernedly into his mouth. "Now take that damn hat off."

Leonard scowled, and made a number of protesting sounds, but the hat did, eventually, come off, through a combination of much laughing and pleading from Bill, and the judicious application of pralines to the situation. When Leonard found the item neatly tucked over the teapot a little later in the day, he decided it would be in the best interests of diplomacy to leave it there.

Besides, it did look kind of cosy.

[identity profile] majestic-shriek.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 04:45 pm (UTC)(link)
...now I want to write about De and hats. COWBOY HATS.

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
FUCK YES.

UNF DE. UNF.

[identity profile] majestic-shriek.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 05:36 pm (UTC)(link)
DAMNIT, NOW I AM GOING TO HAVE TO DO THIS. YOU ARE A BAD BAD INFLUENCE.

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
UNF UNF UNF UNF.

PUT HOLSTERS IN IT.

[identity profile] faitsaccomplis.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
First fic of 2O1O!

"This is what all the kids are wearing these days."
Hahaha. Where are these kids he keeps seeing that wear the same fail!clothes he wears? XD

rainbow-knit condom
Bill and his perverted, Star Trek influenced mind. <3

[identity profile] rae1013.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Ooh, this is so adorable. <3

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
:D Thank you!

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I think the problem is that ZQ wears fail clothes strikingly similar to Leonard's 1970s get-ups, so he is CONFUSED. Poor Leonard. ;)

[identity profile] dextrosinistral.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG, THIS FIC.

(P.S. I AM CURRENTLY KNITTING [livejournal.com profile] kinetic1028 A RAINBOW FUG HAT. IT HAS A CABLED BAND AROUND THE BOTTOM, AND I WASN'T SURE IF I COULD DO CABLING BUT IT'S ACTUALLY SRSLY EASY BSNS. LEMME GET A PICTURE.)

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)
AHAHAHA, really? AWESOME.

[identity profile] dextrosinistral.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
YES. HERE.

Image (http://twitpic.com/w8k9h) (link goes to the twitpic, where you can see HUGE original)

It's brighter than that, but I'm working with a shite mobile phone camera here, so. It's this yarn (http://www.shopcaron.com/Simply-Softreg-404-oz41--Embroidery-Print_p_180.html).

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
:D :D :D :D

THIS IS TOTALLY THE EXACT HAT LEONARD GETS IN THE FIC.

[identity profile] screamlet.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 07:40 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL I READ THIS AS LIKE, PUT HOLSTERS ON THE SIDES OF THE HAT.

WHICH WOULD BE SO AWESOME AND JUST THE KIND OF BAMFY THING DE WOULD DO.

[identity profile] majestic-shriek.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHAH. I am not sure I could pull that off. Writing it, I mean. De totally could, though :D

[identity profile] klashfor.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Fantastic! They fight like the old married couple they are.

I love Bill's blase attitude to fatness. I wish to squish him.

[identity profile] eliyes.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Bill surveyed it. It looked like some sort of unwieldy rainbow-knit condom, as perhaps worn by a giant and then drunkenly removed by a posse of Klingons.

Woke up my housemate laughing at this line. Utterly cute fic. :3

[identity profile] klashfor.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN DOING COMMISSION FOR THESE FUGHATS?

My hat collection is large but lacking fug I feel.

I'm deadly serious about the commission though :D

[identity profile] klashfor.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I would most welcome this fic in my life.

MOST WELCOME MEANS MOLEST IT THROUGH THE INTERNET.

[identity profile] masakochan.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Leonard's newest hat might be related to mine:

Image

[identity profile] starcrossedgirl.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL, that was made of so much smushy adorable WIN. ILU.

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
♥ ♥ ♥

I love how in this world, it's sort of nebulous as to whose house they're in, and what not, because we all know they're actually married. :D

ILU 2 BB!

[identity profile] starcrossedgirl.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
THEY TOTALLY ARE.

And on anniversaries, Len brings out the whip for old times' sake. :P

♥ ♥ ♥

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-01 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHAHA. To remind Bill of all the fun they had on the Enterprise.

[identity profile] indiwise.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
:) :) :)

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