obstinatrix: (the green shirt)
obstinatrix ([personal profile] obstinatrix) wrote2010-01-01 02:08 pm
Entry tags:

Teeny Ficlet: Something About Hats (G)

Title: Something About Hats
Rating: G (:O!)
Pairing: Not even. Bill and Leonard. And Zachary, sort of.
Notes/Summary: [livejournal.com profile] screamlet asked me to write 'something. with. hats', so that is what this is. Of hats, and Spock's fashion sense. I'm posting this because it entertains me greatly to have the first fic of 2010 be this.



"I don't get it," Bill said, turning the item round and round in his hands. "I mean, what - what is it for, actually?"

Leonard glanced at him sidelong, and raised an eyebrow. "Are you being wilfully stupid, or is this completely genuine ignorance?" He reached over, extricated the knit article from Bill's grip, and shook it out. "It's a gift. From Zachary. For Christmas."

Bill frowned, still attempting to process. "Yes," he said, slowly. "I get that. I got that part. Since it arrived all wrapped in Christmas paper and was signed 'love Zachary' (which, by the way, I'm not sure I like). But - " he laid a hand on Leonard's wrist, and squeezed " - what the hell does it do? As in, what is the point of it?"

For a long moment, Leonard simply stared. Then he picked up the gift slowly, holding Bill's eyes as if to signal that this was a demonstration, and set it on his head. "It's a hat, Billy," he explained, as to a backward child. "To wear. To keep my head warm."

Bill surveyed it. It looked like some sort of unwieldy rainbow-knit condom, as perhaps worn by a giant and then drunkenly removed by a posse of Klingons.

"Well," he said eventually, "It looks fucking ridiculous. Just so you know."

Leonard frowned. "It does not! It's cool. This is what all the kids are wearing these days."

"That's what you said about that pink satin suit, if I remember rightly," Bill pointed out. "And the lilac striped shirt with matching pimp hat, and those white - I mean, seriously, white? - shoes." He leaned back against the arm of the sofa and reached a long arm for the box of pralines he had set down earlier on the floor. "I don't understand why all Spocks apparently have to have fashion sense from hell."

Leonard had now affected something that could only be called a pout. He frowned at the pralines. "I bet Chris Pine gets fat," he put in lamely, after a minute.

"Good on him," Bill said, popping a praline unconcernedly into his mouth. "Now take that damn hat off."

Leonard scowled, and made a number of protesting sounds, but the hat did, eventually, come off, through a combination of much laughing and pleading from Bill, and the judicious application of pralines to the situation. When Leonard found the item neatly tucked over the teapot a little later in the day, he decided it would be in the best interests of diplomacy to leave it there.

Besides, it did look kind of cosy.

[identity profile] not-sally.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
YES \o/
I can feel the year getting better already.

[identity profile] screamlet.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
LOL OKAY obviously on board with 'Shatnoy Does the 80s', but I reread this and like, just keep LAUGHING at how fucking OLD and DragonCon-ish (read: BITCHY OLD QUEENS) they are -- and did I mention OLD? It's like, Dragon Con and the Comedy Central Roast clip, WITH RAINBOW CONDOMS. Ughhhh I love this so hard. "I'M TALKING TO YOU AS A HUMAN BEING, SCHMUCK. GET OUT OF MY LIFE.", "DOUCHEBAG."

[identity profile] krzcowzgomoo.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
So, I like hats. How about you?

...hat porn? I want some now.

[identity profile] arhh.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
This little ficlet is a great way to start out the new year :) Very cute, thanks for sharing :)

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 10:30 am (UTC)(link)
Me toooooooooooooooooo. :D

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 10:30 am (UTC)(link)
:D Thank you! Glad I could amuse.

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 10:30 am (UTC)(link)
OMG WTF BBQ LOL. Awesome. :D

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 10:31 am (UTC)(link)
:D!

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 10:31 am (UTC)(link)
EXCELLENT. :D

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 10:31 am (UTC)(link)
...ooh. How would that work?

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-02 10:31 am (UTC)(link)
No problem!

[identity profile] krzcowzgomoo.livejournal.com 2010-01-03 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
That's you you to know and me to find out.

(Meaning I want you to write it... ;D)

[identity profile] ame-no-yume.livejournal.com 2010-01-03 10:15 am (UTC)(link)
Very homey and sweet, :) Thank you!

[identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com 2010-01-03 10:26 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! :D

[identity profile] kuteki.livejournal.com 2010-01-04 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
It looked like some sort of unwieldy rainbow-knit condom, as perhaps worn by a giant and then drunkenly removed by a posse of Klingons.

Hahaha, awesome, and that is just the kind of thing ZQ would like!

[identity profile] monkiainen.livejournal.com 2010-01-13 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh Bill. You are made of so much win :D

[identity profile] got-fanfiction.livejournal.com 2010-01-19 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
ho dang! ;D

i've seen leonard nimoy way back when. -shudders-

it's like a rainbow had sex with a unicorn, and their baby spit up on him. blue and pink. lots of...blue and pink. >.<

this was funny and cute^^

signed,

got-fanfiction :3

[identity profile] dextrosinistral.livejournal.com 2010-01-20 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
OH MY GOD I'M SO LATE SEEING THIS [this is what i get for having a separate email for lj] BUT YES. I WOULD TAKE COMMISSION TO MAKE A FUGHAT.

THERE IS ALSO A SCARF AND ARMWARMERS THAT USE THE SAME CABLING PATTERN, IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

[identity profile] klashfor.livejournal.com 2010-01-20 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)
YAY FOR FUGHATS!

How much would you charge for a fughat? Also chuck in the price for a scarf? And would you ship to the UK?

I AM SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS BTW.

[identity profile] dextrosinistral.livejournal.com 2010-01-20 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
For just the fughat, probably like $8-10US. For fughat and scarf, probably in the $20-25US range. [price range to accommodate different prices of yarn, of course.] I will ship pretty much anywhere. :D
Shipping would be $13.45, unless I find a cheaper way than flat-rate envelope/box to mail it.

And I can either use the same yarn that I used for this one - Caron Simply Soft in Embroidery Print, I think is the colour name - or if you have a different preference, I can get that. The only restriction is I can't knit with wool yarn, hahaha.
Edited 2010-01-20 17:35 (UTC)

[identity profile] hwin-the-horse.livejournal.com 2010-03-04 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
"When Leonard found the item neatly tucked over the teapot a little later in the day..."

Cutest and coziest scene ever!

[identity profile] gentlest-sin.livejournal.com 2011-05-31 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
"I bet Chris Pine gets fat," he put in lamely, after a minute.
This...had me pretty much falling out of my chair. Well done, you. Oh my god.

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