obstinatrix (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
obstinatrix) wrote2009-06-30 10:44 pm
obstinatrix) wrote2009-06-30 10:44 pm
Fic: NYPD Nights (originally posted June 11th)
Okay, guys, come on. I don't want to swamp this community, but I keep posting things on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
trek_rpf_kink, leaving them there anonymously for two days, and then withdrawing my sense of shame and putting them here. Interested parties have probably therefore read this before, but nevertheless, I thought it best to include it for the sake of completion.
Title: NYPD Nights
Pairing: Shatnoy as seen by an OC
Rating: Er...PG-13 for language and bizarre offscreen activities
Warnings: Do I need to warn for the implication that near-octagenarians are still at it?
Notes: In response to a request for a fic where our heroes are outed. This is utter crack, frankly.
It wasn't every day, the young policeman thought warily, that you had to pull in two seventy-eight-year old men for indecent exposure and creating a nuisance.
It wasn't every day, either, that you got to meet your boyhood heroes in the flesh.
The fact that these two unlikely events had happened to coincide, thought the policeman, must surely say something significant about his relationship with Fate. He just wasn't quite sure what it might be.
William Shatner was sitting across the table from him, looking irritable and grumpy and a little bit defiant. William Shatner. The policeman had to keep pinching himself. It was one in the morning, and he was tired, and he was expected to question Shatner as to why he happened to have Spock's - sorry, Leonard Nimoy's - cock in his mouth in a public park.
He needed a drink. Sadly, his shift was set to run for another three hours and twenty-seven minutes, during which time no drink would be forthcoming. He tried to stop himself blushing. It was a failed attempt.
"Mr Shatner," he began. This was difficult. There were so many things he felt the need to say, like I'm frankly amazed and envious that you can both still get it up, never mind get down on your knees in the damp at your age, and where do your wives think you are tonight and can you still do Kirk's flying kick?
Shatner raised an eyebrow. This, the policeman thought, was greatly unfair. It was a Spock expression. That was cheating. Shatner said, "Look, son."
Captain Kirk is berating me, thought the policeman frantically. He sort of wanted to dance with joy and post to Twitter about it. He tried to look unmoved, and perhaps irritated about being addressed as 'son'. He was glowing like a Trekkie who has turned up to his first convention to discover that DeForest Kelley has been expertly reanimated and is ready to sign fanart.
It was at that moment that the policeman noticed that Shatner still had his hand on Spock's - sorry, Leonard Nimoy's - knee. And was - kneading, slightly. Nimoy gave the policeman a level look.
"What are you going to do with us, then?" he said smoothly. The policeman was seized with the desperate urge to somehow manipulate him into saying the word 'logical'.
The two men looked at each other. Then they looked back at the blushing policeman. The policeman stared at them for another few seconds, decided that Kirk and Spock were meant to be together anyway, and stood up.
"You're free to go," he mumbled. "Just - don't do it again, okay?"
"No, sir," agreed Shatner readily, fastening his jacket.
"Never again," echoed Nimoy, taking Shatner's hand. And they walked out.
The policeman had the very distinct feeling that he'd been had.
Somehow, though, he couldn't bring himself to care. His followers on Twitter were going to die.
trek_rpf_kink, leaving them there anonymously for two days, and then withdrawing my sense of shame and putting them here. Interested parties have probably therefore read this before, but nevertheless, I thought it best to include it for the sake of completion.Title: NYPD Nights
Pairing: Shatnoy as seen by an OC
Rating: Er...PG-13 for language and bizarre offscreen activities
Warnings: Do I need to warn for the implication that near-octagenarians are still at it?
Notes: In response to a request for a fic where our heroes are outed. This is utter crack, frankly.
It wasn't every day, the young policeman thought warily, that you had to pull in two seventy-eight-year old men for indecent exposure and creating a nuisance.
It wasn't every day, either, that you got to meet your boyhood heroes in the flesh.
The fact that these two unlikely events had happened to coincide, thought the policeman, must surely say something significant about his relationship with Fate. He just wasn't quite sure what it might be.
William Shatner was sitting across the table from him, looking irritable and grumpy and a little bit defiant. William Shatner. The policeman had to keep pinching himself. It was one in the morning, and he was tired, and he was expected to question Shatner as to why he happened to have Spock's - sorry, Leonard Nimoy's - cock in his mouth in a public park.
He needed a drink. Sadly, his shift was set to run for another three hours and twenty-seven minutes, during which time no drink would be forthcoming. He tried to stop himself blushing. It was a failed attempt.
"Mr Shatner," he began. This was difficult. There were so many things he felt the need to say, like I'm frankly amazed and envious that you can both still get it up, never mind get down on your knees in the damp at your age, and where do your wives think you are tonight and can you still do Kirk's flying kick?
Shatner raised an eyebrow. This, the policeman thought, was greatly unfair. It was a Spock expression. That was cheating. Shatner said, "Look, son."
Captain Kirk is berating me, thought the policeman frantically. He sort of wanted to dance with joy and post to Twitter about it. He tried to look unmoved, and perhaps irritated about being addressed as 'son'. He was glowing like a Trekkie who has turned up to his first convention to discover that DeForest Kelley has been expertly reanimated and is ready to sign fanart.
It was at that moment that the policeman noticed that Shatner still had his hand on Spock's - sorry, Leonard Nimoy's - knee. And was - kneading, slightly. Nimoy gave the policeman a level look.
"What are you going to do with us, then?" he said smoothly. The policeman was seized with the desperate urge to somehow manipulate him into saying the word 'logical'.
The two men looked at each other. Then they looked back at the blushing policeman. The policeman stared at them for another few seconds, decided that Kirk and Spock were meant to be together anyway, and stood up.
"You're free to go," he mumbled. "Just - don't do it again, okay?"
"No, sir," agreed Shatner readily, fastening his jacket.
"Never again," echoed Nimoy, taking Shatner's hand. And they walked out.
The policeman had the very distinct feeling that he'd been had.
Somehow, though, he couldn't bring himself to care. His followers on Twitter were going to die.
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Feel no shame writing, them, as I feel no shame reading them, it's win/win
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And this sentence was the gorgeous cherry on the cake:
"What are you going to do with us, then?" he said smoothly. The policeman was seized with the desperate urge to somehow manipulate him into saying the word 'logical'.
XD I so would have the same urge!
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