obstinatrix: (the green shirt)
[personal profile] obstinatrix
Title: Something About Hats
Rating: G (:O!)
Pairing: Not even. Bill and Leonard. And Zachary, sort of.
Notes/Summary: [livejournal.com profile] screamlet asked me to write 'something. with. hats', so that is what this is. Of hats, and Spock's fashion sense. I'm posting this because it entertains me greatly to have the first fic of 2010 be this.



"I don't get it," Bill said, turning the item round and round in his hands. "I mean, what - what is it for, actually?"

Leonard glanced at him sidelong, and raised an eyebrow. "Are you being wilfully stupid, or is this completely genuine ignorance?" He reached over, extricated the knit article from Bill's grip, and shook it out. "It's a gift. From Zachary. For Christmas."

Bill frowned, still attempting to process. "Yes," he said, slowly. "I get that. I got that part. Since it arrived all wrapped in Christmas paper and was signed 'love Zachary' (which, by the way, I'm not sure I like). But - " he laid a hand on Leonard's wrist, and squeezed " - what the hell does it do? As in, what is the point of it?"

For a long moment, Leonard simply stared. Then he picked up the gift slowly, holding Bill's eyes as if to signal that this was a demonstration, and set it on his head. "It's a hat, Billy," he explained, as to a backward child. "To wear. To keep my head warm."

Bill surveyed it. It looked like some sort of unwieldy rainbow-knit condom, as perhaps worn by a giant and then drunkenly removed by a posse of Klingons.

"Well," he said eventually, "It looks fucking ridiculous. Just so you know."

Leonard frowned. "It does not! It's cool. This is what all the kids are wearing these days."

"That's what you said about that pink satin suit, if I remember rightly," Bill pointed out. "And the lilac striped shirt with matching pimp hat, and those white - I mean, seriously, white? - shoes." He leaned back against the arm of the sofa and reached a long arm for the box of pralines he had set down earlier on the floor. "I don't understand why all Spocks apparently have to have fashion sense from hell."

Leonard had now affected something that could only be called a pout. He frowned at the pralines. "I bet Chris Pine gets fat," he put in lamely, after a minute.

"Good on him," Bill said, popping a praline unconcernedly into his mouth. "Now take that damn hat off."

Leonard scowled, and made a number of protesting sounds, but the hat did, eventually, come off, through a combination of much laughing and pleading from Bill, and the judicious application of pralines to the situation. When Leonard found the item neatly tucked over the teapot a little later in the day, he decided it would be in the best interests of diplomacy to leave it there.

Besides, it did look kind of cosy.
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Date: 2010-01-01 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] verselle.livejournal.com
HAHAHAHHAAHA oh that is just precious. omg the pralines and rainbow-knit condom and I just bet something similar happened irl :P

Date: 2010-01-01 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] candesgirl.livejournal.com
LOLOLOL I bet Chris Pine gets fat


I LOVE THIS!

Date: 2010-01-01 02:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] majestic-shriek.livejournal.com
:D

You are made of constant win, and so is this <3

Date: 2010-01-01 03:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] screamlet.livejournal.com
SERIOUSLY, why is the phrase "rainbow condom" SO FUNNY right now!

Date: 2010-01-01 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] igrab.livejournal.com
I BET CHRIS PINE GETS FAT. that's nice, dear.

Sigh, happy new year ♥ i agree, this comm has made this fandom year the best in my entire life. Nothing will ever, ever compare.

DANCE IN THE SHATNOY FOREVER, which makes me want more adorable oldmen dancing fic.

Date: 2010-01-01 03:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spookyfbi.livejournal.com
I don't know what's more delicious, that Zach is giving Bill presents signed 'love Zachary', or that Bill's not sure he likes it.

Also? Lol, I love how Bill is thinking about Klingons as if they're real (and the two fandoms merge once again - YAY!)

Date: 2010-01-01 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lemon31.livejournal.com
2010 has officially got off to a good start, thanks to this fic =]

Love this line ♥

He frowned at the pralines. "I bet Chris Pine gets fat," he put in lamely, after a minute.

Don't worry bb!Fine, I'll still love you when you're fat!

Date: 2010-01-01 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kradie.livejournal.com
This was hilarious. Best hat ficlet I've ever read. :D

Date: 2010-01-01 04:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ariadnechan.livejournal.com
i love it!!

yes they have a very bad fashion sense, but Len look incredible even if he only were a potato bag!!!

Date: 2010-01-01 04:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coeurdesoleil.livejournal.com
Hahahaha, I LOVED this!!
I'm so glad this was the first fic I read in 2010! XDDDD

Date: 2010-01-01 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faitsaccomplis.livejournal.com
First fic of 2O1O!

"This is what all the kids are wearing these days."
Hahaha. Where are these kids he keeps seeing that wear the same fail!clothes he wears? XD

rainbow-knit condom
Bill and his perverted, Star Trek influenced mind. <3

Date: 2010-01-01 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rae1013.livejournal.com
Ooh, this is so adorable. <3

Date: 2010-01-01 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dextrosinistral.livejournal.com
OMG, THIS FIC.

(P.S. I AM CURRENTLY KNITTING [livejournal.com profile] kinetic1028 A RAINBOW FUG HAT. IT HAS A CABLED BAND AROUND THE BOTTOM, AND I WASN'T SURE IF I COULD DO CABLING BUT IT'S ACTUALLY SRSLY EASY BSNS. LEMME GET A PICTURE.)

Date: 2010-01-01 10:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] klashfor.livejournal.com
Fantastic! They fight like the old married couple they are.

I love Bill's blase attitude to fatness. I wish to squish him.

Date: 2010-01-01 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eliyes.livejournal.com
Bill surveyed it. It looked like some sort of unwieldy rainbow-knit condom, as perhaps worn by a giant and then drunkenly removed by a posse of Klingons.

Woke up my housemate laughing at this line. Utterly cute fic. :3

Date: 2010-01-01 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] masakochan.livejournal.com
Leonard's newest hat might be related to mine:

Image

Date: 2010-01-01 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starcrossedgirl.livejournal.com
LOL, that was made of so much smushy adorable WIN. ILU.

Date: 2010-01-02 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] not-sally.livejournal.com
YES \o/
I can feel the year getting better already.

Date: 2010-01-02 02:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krzcowzgomoo.livejournal.com
So, I like hats. How about you?

...hat porn? I want some now.

Date: 2010-01-02 03:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arhh.livejournal.com
This little ficlet is a great way to start out the new year :) Very cute, thanks for sharing :)

Date: 2010-01-03 10:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ame-no-yume.livejournal.com
Very homey and sweet, :) Thank you!

Date: 2010-01-04 12:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kuteki.livejournal.com
It looked like some sort of unwieldy rainbow-knit condom, as perhaps worn by a giant and then drunkenly removed by a posse of Klingons.

Hahaha, awesome, and that is just the kind of thing ZQ would like!

Date: 2010-01-13 02:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monkiainen.livejournal.com
Oh Bill. You are made of so much win :D

Date: 2010-01-19 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] got-fanfiction.livejournal.com
ho dang! ;D

i've seen leonard nimoy way back when. -shudders-

it's like a rainbow had sex with a unicorn, and their baby spit up on him. blue and pink. lots of...blue and pink. >.<

this was funny and cute^^

signed,

got-fanfiction :3
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