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Title: Our bodies, possessed by light
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~42,000
Summary: Purged of all his souls, Castiel is a changed being, stronger than an angel and too powerful for Jimmy's body to contain. Happily, there's an archangel's vessel on hand, and he could use fixing, too. Dean isn't too happy about the idea of his brother acting as a vessel for Castiel, and Sam can guess why, but it isn't until Castiel gets inside his head and they learn to share the vessel -- and their thoughts -- that Sam realises Cas is as in love with Dean as Dean is with him. It's unfortunate that there's nothing much to be done about it now, but Castiel will get another vessel soon. The Winchesters will make damn sure of that. In the meantime, it's up to the three of them to establish their own strange accord, and Dean realises more fully than ever that it's Castiel, and not his vessel, that he loves.

Warnings/Promises: This fic does contain character death (non-pairing). It does not contain Sam/Dean, Sam/Castiel, or Sam/Dean/Castiel. There is no oral-genital or genital-genital contact between Dean and Sam's body; there is no making out. However, please note that there is one scene depicting a mild sexual situation between Dean and Cas-in-Sam's body: [more explicit spoiler] there is cuddling and over-the-clothes, above-the-waist touching after a lot of UST. The result of this is dry humping at the climax of which Cas comes. There is a brief chaste kiss. Sam has consented to be Castiel's vessel and to kissing, as long as he doesn't have to hear about it, but not explicitly to anything further, which may trigger those with vessel consent issues. While my beta [livejournal.com profile] qthelights didn't find her incest squick to have been hit too badly by this fic, I know that others have been triggered and I'm sorry about that and for my failure to warn correctly in the first instance. In case the specifics of the NC-17 sex scene are a dealbreaker for anyone [spoiler]: it's Dean/Misha-shaped Castiel.
Acknowledgements: Thank you to my wonderful artist, [livejournal.com profile] smallworld_inc, for the huge amount of beautiful art she produced for this fic. ♥ Thank you also to my document-creepers, [livejournal.com profile] qthelights, [livejournal.com profile] cautionzombies, [livejournal.com profile] annundriel, [livejournal.com profile] hils and [livejournal.com profile] oddlyfamiliar for making me feel pressured enough to keep going (♥) and to [livejournal.com profile] oddlyfamiliar in particular for the beta.
Special Thanks: To [livejournal.com profile] cautionzombies. ♥ This fic is for you, babe. Without Jen's constant texts, emails, GDoc comments and gchat pingings of encouragement, abuse and squee, I would never have managed to finish this. I went into this knowing that I wanted to start at point a, convey theme b and arrive eventually at point d, but without Jen, there would have been no bridge c. Or porny outtakes. I ♥ you, babe. Thank you also to [livejournal.com profile] qthelights for making noises of horror when I said there wasn't going to be any sex in this at all. :P




. part one . part two . part three . part four.
. outtakes (read warnings!). PDF . AO3 . art post .

eta: I have altered my warnings above, but to reiterate here: I am truly sorry if my failure to warn correctly in the first instance led anyone to be triggered by this fic. It was not my intention to distress anyone, and I fully appreciate that I have done so.
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Date: 2011-10-03 08:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cautionzombies.livejournal.com
;___; I just. Believed in you and this story so much and it's more than I could have expected and I love it so much.

Gonna read it soon for the eighth time to see how it looks all spiffified on LJ with this goddamn gorgeous art.

Date: 2011-10-12 11:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
♥ It looks awesome with the dividers in it, does it not? :DD

Date: 2011-10-03 09:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dirgesong.livejournal.com
I am so excited to read this I can barely breathe!!! And the art work is utter perfection!!

Date: 2011-10-12 11:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
♥ The artwork blows me away; I got so lucky.

Date: 2011-10-03 09:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolfrider89.livejournal.com
I think I made a very... interesting noise when I saw that not only had [livejournal.com profile] smallworld_inc posted her art, but you were the author. My day? It is AWESOME. Downloading the PDF now, can't wait to read it and then go squee over the art. (which I wanted to look at so bad but since it contained spoilers, I had to restrain myself.)

Date: 2011-10-12 11:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
I hope you've had a chance to look at the art, now. :D I am so in love with it!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] wolfrider89.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-10-12 02:21 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2011-10-03 10:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] olympia-m.livejournal.com
yay!! I hadn't realised you had posted it already! I downloaded the .pdf and will read as soon as I can!!!!!

Date: 2011-10-12 11:03 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-10-03 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cassiopeia7.livejournal.com
From the summary alone, I know I'm going to love this! *races off to read*

Date: 2011-10-12 11:03 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-10-03 11:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] timey-wimey-kid.livejournal.com
Ohmygod, DCBB opens up with one of my fave writers and artists. I am a very happy person. *Rushes to read*

Date: 2011-10-03 11:49 am (UTC)
ext_62137: (Default)
From: [identity profile] e0wyn.livejournal.com
This! I'm ecstatic :D

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-10-12 11:04 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-10-12 11:03 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2011-10-03 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavosspawn.livejournal.com
Big Bang season could not have rolled around at a better time! I am super excited to start reading this, and the art is beautiful!

Date: 2011-10-12 11:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
I am in love with the art, I must confess. :)

Date: 2011-10-03 12:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mfluder42.livejournal.com
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

*\o/**\o/**\o/**\o/**\o/**\o/**\o/**\o/**\o/**\o/*

ICAN'TWAITTOREADTHIS!!!!!

And the art? OMFG!!!!

*FLAILS*

Date: 2011-10-12 11:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
:DDDDDD

YOU'RE SO CUTE!

Date: 2011-10-03 01:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] topetine.livejournal.com
*claps excitedly* so thrilled to be able to read this.

Of course I'll have to stop watching Cas run around in Sammy's heart first....

I wave when he runs by. (Shh, I just woke up, am not sane yet :P)

<3 you are first on my list to read!!

Date: 2011-10-12 11:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
♥ ♥ !

The gif is addictive, isn't it?

Date: 2011-10-03 01:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] earthseed-fic.livejournal.com
I just read the summary and the warnings/promises and you have made my Monday morning infinitely better. I can't wat to get home to read this tonight.

Date: 2011-10-12 11:05 am (UTC)

Just the art is... guh

Date: 2011-10-03 01:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ash-kah.livejournal.com
So I'm VERY impatient to read the story as soon as I have time!

Just wanted to say that I really appreciate the warning/reassurance about the fact that there is no incest here. Thank you!

Well... I know in advance that I'll like it (I'm quite new to the fandom but I read some of your work and I loved it), so thanks. Later! ^^

Date: 2011-10-03 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quickreaver.livejournal.com
EEEEE! I have works to be done and must read this later but EEEEEEE! Me, such the eager beaver!

Date: 2011-10-12 11:05 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-10-03 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strange-quirk.livejournal.com
There is nothing about this work that I don't love. Everything. It is in every way perfect, beautiful, touching and crafted from all things good and happy-making (and indeed tear-jerking in places!!).

I feel that there is nothing I can say that would do this enough justice.�

Re: �

Date: 2011-10-12 11:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
♥ Thank you so much!

Date: 2011-10-03 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kallista85.livejournal.com
That was beautiful. I think it would be very diffucult to anyone writing a similar story (Destiel with Cas in Sam's body), but I really appreciated your subtleness.
Sometimes it was kinda strange for me imagining certain scenes (I'm obviously referring to the one in the 3rd part, above all), in which there's only Cas in Sam's body, and Dean feels like "I love his (ie. Cas') soul, so I'm about to give a damn about a thing on whose vessel he is using". Eventually, I managed to value more the angst of the two lovers that the "picturization" of the scene, so I really didn't care anymore.

Instead it surprised me a lot that Sam was like "do whatever you want with my body, as long as there's only Cas inside, I have no problems" XD He's so supportive and caring about his brother and the angel he loves but... awkward? Maybe you wouldn't remember it, but Dean would!

Excuse me if my English is sloppy and my comments unuseful, but English is not my first language and it's also the first time ever i'm reviewing (sort of) a fic.

Is it the right place to say that also the art was amazing?

Bye!

Date: 2011-10-12 11:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
Your English is not sloppy; I understood you just fine! Thank you so much for commenting.

Date: 2011-10-03 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cherie-morte.livejournal.com
I bet this fic is incredible because you wrote it. ♥

Date: 2011-10-12 11:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
I won't pretend it has an actual plot, but, y'know. :D

Date: 2011-10-03 03:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twelve-pastels.livejournal.com
That was WONDERFUL. :D

Date: 2011-10-12 11:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! :D

Date: 2011-10-03 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aerilex.livejournal.com
So damn cute. I love how you tackled the taboo-feel to Cas in Sam's body and I loved Sam and Cas' interactions and Sam's matchmaking and Dean and Sam's interactions and Dean and Cas' interactions and - yeah, I just loved it all.

Though it would appear not everyone got the general theme... (eyes anon posts skeptically)

Date: 2011-10-12 11:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Date: 2011-10-03 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] remey.livejournal.com
i can't even, you're writing...always so the best oh god.
so. fucking. amazing.

Date: 2011-10-12 11:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
♥ Thank you so much!

Date: 2011-10-03 10:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mjluvspolar.livejournal.com
Oh, oh, OH! This is by far my favourite bigbang of the year and I can't even tell you how excited I am to read this story. Thanks so much for providing a pdf - I'm grabbing now and doing a happy dance that I will have something awesome to read this weekend. ~_^

MJ

Date: 2011-10-12 11:08 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-10-04 05:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tristinai.livejournal.com
I am very squicked by incest. And I mean very. But everything of yours that I have read, I have loved and I have been impatiently waiting for your Big Bang entry. I have downloaded the pdf and will give this a shot when I find a moment.

As squicked as I am, I must commend you on tackling something that is purely Dean/Cas via Sam as vessel. In the fandom, many of us rationalize the Dean/Cas relationship by treating Dean's feelings for Cas as love for the angel and not for the angel's meatsuit (you know, to make up for canon Dean's heterosexuality). You have really put that to the test here and I have nothing but faith in your ability to tell that kind of story and look forward to reading it. :)

Date: 2011-10-04 10:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
♥ Thank you. I hope my warnings are sufficient to indicate what you're getting into and I hope you aren't too squicked by it! I make it very clear that Sam and Dean are in no way attracted to each other, and there's quite a big deal made of Dean's own incest squick at play, but still, I'm now hyperaware that a fic with this kind of concept comes with a lot of baggage. It explores a lot of vessel issues that interest me greatly, but...it's Sam, you know? I hope you can read it (although totally understandable if you find you have to stop). :)

Oh, and please note that the masterpost now has the most up-to-date warnings -- the PDF I'm only just updating now and the original warnings were insufficient.
Edited Date: 2011-10-04 10:10 am (UTC)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-10-12 11:09 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2011-10-04 09:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deadflowers5.livejournal.com
Hon! You're so damn lucky with your artist! I can't wait to read your fic!

Date: 2011-10-12 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
I'm the luckiest girl in the world. :D

Date: 2011-10-04 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thoughtsickles.livejournal.com
OH. MY. GOD. That is the hottest sex scene I have ever read. Pretty sure I came in my pants. Hnggghhh...

okay, for the real comment. love love love this! I could see this situation being canon--it's fucked up and creates such excellent drama. You are such an amazing storyteller. I was worried at first that the incest thing might be squicky, but you handled it so well. Loved the literal deus ex machina--Dean just can't catch a break, so it's nice of God to intervene. And I completely agree with Dean, Cas needs to be in Jimmy's bod and no one else's.

Date: 2011-10-12 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for such a lovely comment!

Date: 2011-10-05 12:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aerynsun21.livejournal.com
Nicely done, very unique concept. :)

Date: 2011-10-12 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

Date: 2011-10-05 06:36 am (UTC)
ext_393041: perfect Spock (spn)
From: [identity profile] verizonhorizon.livejournal.com
OMG OMG OMG THE ART! If it wasn't 1:36am, I'd dive in on the fic right now....Oh bloody hell, I'm starting it anyway! CAN'T. WAIT.

Date: 2011-10-12 11:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
I am SO HAPPY with the art. :D

Date: 2011-10-05 10:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolfrider89.livejournal.com
This fic? This fic made my day. In SO many ways. You wrote the UST so painfully well I forgot to breathe in quite a few places. I was just so caught up in the moment, in the "will they, won't they?" of it. God.

I absolutelty loved Sam and Cas's interactions, how they bonded and became so close through sharing a body. The scene where Sam goes looking for Cas after the accidental kiss is just... *happy sigh* I also love how Dean can tell the difference so easily, how he just sees Cas when Cas is in charge.

I feel like my comment doesn't quite cover the level of happiness I felt over this fic, but hopefully you get the idea. :)

Oh, and I've been planning on friending you for a while now, so I hope you don't mind that I finally get to it. :P

Date: 2011-10-12 11:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstinatrix.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for this lovely comment, and -- yay friending! :D
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