Masterpost: The Voice Of The Turtledove (Dean/Castiel)

[obstinatrix]

~*~

Title The Voice of The Turtledove
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating NC-17
Word Count: 60,645
Summary: Castiel was eleven years old when he first felt there was something wrong with him. He's twenty-nine, a Roman Catholic priest in a small New England village, before Dean Winchester shows him that there isn't. AU.
Warnings: I think we've hit the motherlode, here. *deep breath* Blasphemy. Theological posturing. Possible underage sex - although Dean is 17, which meets the age of consent where this story takes place. Human!Cas, obviously. Vague insinuations of sibling incest (Castiel/Jimmy, in thought only). Religiously based homophobia. Internalised homophobia in the narrative voice. Shredding of a number of tenets of the Roman Catholic church. Too many Biblical references. Priest!kink and all that comes with it, basically.
Special Mentions to: the ever-wonderful starcrossedgirl, who listened to me complain about this fic, prodded me when I was slowing down with it, and threw me plot momentum, as she so often does, when I had none. Thanks also to A for the Ameripick.
Final Notes: I am, by training, a Church historian; I'm also a long-time attendee of more than one RC church. Everything in here about altar-serving, in particular, comes from observations based upon particular churches. If you've seen it done differently, that's because churches do have some degree of autonomy in these matters. :)


For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing is come,
and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.

. part 1 . part 2 . part 3 . part 4 . part 5 . part 6 .

For copyright reasons -- specifically, because it was published -- this fic is no longer available publicly. The story is now available in print here or as an ebook, here. Anyone who feels inclined to purchase either one of them will be much-loved by me. ;) I'm afraid I am no longer able to email PDFs of the original. For a fuller explanation of why, please see this post by my good friend nanoochka, who has summed up the situation better than I could.

Comments

[lalazee.livejournal.com]

I just want to say that I'm fucking ecstatic to read this AND NOW IM GOING TO.

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I'm thrilled to hear it, bb!

[screamlet.livejournal.com]

I AM SO FUCKING THRILLED THIS EXISTS

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

I'M THRILLED YOU'RE THRILLED :D

[starcrossedgirl.livejournal.com]

HERE, HAVE AN APPROPRIATE CAS ICON FOR THIS POST.

:DDDDDDDDDDD SO THRILLED THIS IS POSTED!

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

OFFICIAL COMMENT FROM SUPPORTER = CHECK! ♥

I couldn't have done it without you, bb.

[kianspo.livejournal.com]

Christmas came early, did it, oh my God... <3

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:D ♥ I hope you enjoy!

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And hey, I'm particularly glad you liked Cas's dream, because that was one of the parts I was most unsure of, so that pleases me immensely. xx

[leatharegee.livejournal.com]

OH. MY. GODDDD.

I can't even put into words how amazing amazing amazing this is. The scene at the beginning of chapter chapter 5 where the real angel Castiel shows up...I literally felt like I had the wind knocked out of me it was so ~wonderful~ (the references to canon dialogue were so brilliant) that I had to put my computer aside for like 10 minutes and remember how to fucking breath before I could keep reading. And the ending is just ~UNNF~ and wonderful that I'm literally sitting in my bed at 3:30 am giggling and half-crying and smiling like a fucking idiot.

It's like you took every single one of the "It gets better" videos and put them together in one amazing story featuring Dean and Cas.

tl;dr LOVED IT. :-D

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:DDDDDDD

Thank you so much. I'm really delighted that it worked for you, and your comment about the 'it gets better' videos really makes me smile, because that was exactly what I was going for, here. I'm a gay person who grew up in an environment of overwhelming religious homophobia, and it does get better, and I wanted to convey that.

[karaq.livejournal.com]

One word: FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!!!
Surely one of the best Dean/Cas AU's I've ever read.
Loved pretty much everything about it; the age-difference, Cas as a priest, Homophobic community and family, Cas for once with the gay-freakout (it's usually Dean), and of course: the well written apperance of angel!Castiel :)

Again: FANTASTIC STORY! :)

~KaraQ

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:DDDD

Thank you so much! I'm delighted you liked.

[secondplatypus.livejournal.com]

*throws plans for the evening to the winds and dives right in*

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[whumpses.livejournal.com]

Someday, I'm going to be able to thank you for this. Yes, it was hot like whoah, but more importantly it was life-affirming and had one of the best....ok...not gonna spoil it. Let's say I liked the scene in the field, the confessional, the trash courtyard, the car, the rectory, the kitchen, the bedroom, the bunkbed, the locker room...all of them for different reasons. This thing is so well written, so well paced, and so deliciously long. It kept seeming like the end was nigh, and then proceeding in such a way that each chapter was like a gift.."yay Mama let us stay up a little later" kinda reprieve feeling. Normally when a person tries to write something with A Social Message it faceplants but this is more alive than that. Thank you. I wanna film this & make it a Hallmark special. Oh, and the hotness was..yeah..wow..

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

♥ Thank you so much I'm delighted that this worked for you, on all these levels. :)

[the-sammykinz.livejournal.com]

This was such a good read. Honestly. I AM SO FUCKING ECSTATIC OVER THIS.

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you!

Also: your icon = ♥

[timey-wimey-kid.livejournal.com]

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS BUT I THOUGHT YOU'D DEFINITELY LOVE IT.
http://twitpic.com/39ecgd

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

JKFBGJKLADJWMNERPNRGKM;WERKGMLWREKLNHRH

WHAT IS THIS EPISODE OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THIS GLORIOUSNESS???

BRB, WRITING AU OF THIS AU IN WHICH FATHER CAS IS A GLEEFUL, PSYCHOPATHIC KILLER.

[xarixian.livejournal.com]

[nanoochka.livejournal.com]

What she said.

[redheadaholic.livejournal.com]

Do you think the Pope would ex-communicate me if I sent him this story as the only response needed to why the RC Church is just SO stupid and wrong on homosexuality? :)

Loved this in so many ways already chronicled above, so won't repeat them. Great job!

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:DDDD

Thank you!

I see the Pope has today decided that using a condom is marginally less sinful, on the sin scale, than giving someone AIDS.

WOW, REALLY?

Oy.

[fullonswayzeed.livejournal.com]

OKAY SO. I read this whole freaking thing last night and didn't end up trying to grab a few hours sleep until nearly 10am. That's how good it is. Like, I've been very meh towards fanfiction lately, as it seems I can never find anything that's truly well written and addicting anymore. But THIS! This beautiful fucking masterpiece! It's gorgeously written, the characters are multidimensional (they're totally yours, if only with borrowed concepts/names from Kripke & Co), the plot is fast paced but knows where to stop and indulge itself. AND HOLY CRAP MY KINKS CITY, LEMME TELL YOU. The sex scenes in this were scorching sexy; I was tingly all over and I could feel my face getting hot. And at the sweet parts? I got butterflies. I haven't felt such a roller coaster ride of emotions when reading a fic in a very, very long time. This is everything I could've asked for and more.

So I have to ask: Do you have a .PDF of it or shouldI make my own? Strictly for my own reading pleasure, of course, if you were ever to take it down. :)

Oh, also: this (http://fullonswayzeed.tumblr.com/post/1665744645/based-upon-the-voice-of-a-turtle-dove-by).

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

♥ Thank you so much, hon. This is extremely flattering; I think my head may now be too big to fit back through the door. ;)

Also: omfg, a graphic? A graphic? :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD AWESOME. ♥

I do have a .pdf - I'll happily email it to you if you tell me where to send it.

[allodole.livejournal.com]

I just read this and oasmgohlksdhglk MARRY ME, FIC.

I can't say it in words how much I loved this. From the wrong, yet so delicious tension at the beginning, all the nasofihglohsG-keysmash-worthy, sexy scenes to the wonderful, wonderful ending.

♥♥♥

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:DDDD Thank you so much; I'm so glad you liked.

[hypertwink.livejournal.com]

It kinda reminds me of Priest in so far as they are both about priests questioning their faith in relation to their being gay. I like this a lot; it was very engrossing that I read it in one sitting.

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[canadian-plant.livejournal.com]

I read this all the way through at once and it was wonderful. Just thought you should know :-)

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! :)

[gblvr.livejournal.com]

This was so good that I don't even think I have the right words to tell you how much I enjoyed it.... Thank you for putting this out in the world for the rest of us.

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:D

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed.

[dragonsofeden.livejournal.com]

I started reading this fic on the bus today, more out of curiosity than anything else. I am not normally one for AUs in this fandom, and I am more than a little squicked out by priest kink, so I figured I would stop after a few paragraphs...

...which became a few pages...

...which lead to me hiding under my desk like an earthquake survivor, reading each new chapter obsessively on the tiny screen of my cell phone, hoping my boss would fall into a hole somewhere so I could just FINISH IT ASAP. The way you portray priest!Cas, his struggle against his nature...it is truly a thing of beauty. I wasn't ever Catholic in my youth, but I went through some other, similar experiences with denial and doubt, and I have to say you have it NAILED. This fic is beautiful. Thank you for writing it.

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

Ha, the image of you hiding under your desk with your cellphone made me laugh aloud, ngl. I am extremely flattered. Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it, and that you gave it a try despite it not really being your thing.

[celeste9]

Hello! I have heard great things about this fic and would like to read it, but I saw there was a warning for incest? Incest completely squicks me out, so I was wondering if you would mind giving me a bit more info about it? If it's just some oblique reference that I can ignore or if it is more than that. Thank you so much!

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

Hello! Thanks for having the presence of mind to ask. :)

The incestuous overtones are quite oblique, and are only in one quite short section of the fic (flashback to when Castiel and his twin, Jimmy, were growing up). Effectively, there are just a few indications that Cas, in his developmental stages, did some comparing of his body to Jimmy's, in a semi-sexual way, and also had some trouble directing his very early sexual feelings and disentangling them from his strong emotional attachment to his brother. I think you could probably just skip a couple of sentences if they made you uncomfortable, and not really lose anything from the plot or anything like that.

[fanofall.livejournal.com]

Absolutely brilliant.

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :) ♥

[aerynsun21.livejournal.com]

I don't think I will ever look at a priest the same way again. Well done. :)

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

♥ Thank you!

[candesgirl.livejournal.com]

Just want you to know, babe, that I am totally working on this tonight, okay? I've been saving it for when I could really sit and enjoy it, and that's gonna be tonight :)

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:DDDD

Well, I hope you enjoy it, hon! And happy early birthday!

[hils.livejournal.com]

So, yeah, hi. I am probably the last person to read this but I LOVED IT! Am going to rec on Monday.

At first I was all 'Oh, this is lots of nice hot porn' and then I realised the boys were actually in love too and my heart melted

A++ work bb!

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

:D ♥ Thank you, bb! I'm glad you liked it!

And you are not the last person to read it, believe me. Every time I think everyone's read it who's going to, I get a sudden inexplicable little run of new comments on it. ;)

[improbability32.livejournal.com]

Ok, so I was kinda nervous to read this. I mean, the pairing... a 29 year old Priest with a 17 year old "boy"? But it is a true testament to your writing abilities that you pulled this off spectacularly. My heart was aching for Cas the entire time, and in general, this whole thing just really "got to me."

If I might? I think the entire thing is an achingly, beautifully done journey through the issue of homosexuality and the church. For me, adding in an age issue almost distracted from that.

I am so glad this was reced to me though. I read a lot of fanfiction and this was one of the few that I bothered to talk about with my (amazingly understanding) husband.

[obstinatrix.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :) I'm really glad that you did give this a try, despite your reservations about it. I think, for me, part of why I did choose to go the route of the age-issue is to play with the 'distractions' and the preconceptions that might grow up around something that starts off looking like just kink-fodder and then turns out not to be so, if that makes any sense? It's almost a surprise when it develops into more than what it initially seems to be, and I like that about it.

Also, the age difference here is lesser than the age difference between my parents, who got together when my mother was 17, so, that may have something to do with why it didn't really seem as massive to me as it's seemed to some other people. ;)